Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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