therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
