Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
this hospital has no fireball
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
