You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
