What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
