I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
