I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
