It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
