I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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