I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
