I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
