I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
