Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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