I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
