i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
