Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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