i love accidental penises.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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