I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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