my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
