So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
