So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Success! We fucked roommates!
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