I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She's the barista slut.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
