it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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