Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
