Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
