id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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