He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
