I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
