I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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