worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
