hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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