Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
