Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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