I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize