I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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