If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
