he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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