Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
