My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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