I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
