ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Randomize