I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
