Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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