did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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