Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
