Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
