so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
