Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
