The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
