yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
