How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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