I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
