Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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