swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
